


Arcturus

by pessimisticvirtuoso



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Acceptance, Coming Out, Deal With It, Don’t copy to another site, lazy--stars, trans!Dipper, trans!stan, wrote this for a friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-03-13 20:27:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18948232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pessimisticvirtuoso/pseuds/pessimisticvirtuoso
Summary: He was going to do it today. He set all of today's plans aside just for this. He was valid, accepted, and he passed- at least, by his sister's standards. Today, he will see how his Great-Uncle Stan feels about it- as soon as he works up the courage.Trans!Dipper AU





	Arcturus

Dipper always knew he was different. His sister had always been his polar opposite- bright, cheerful, and happy. He had no problem with her bright personality. It only served to prove how different the two of them were. Which was favorable, because as a child he _hated_ how similar the two were- perfect little twin girls, playing together with matching pink bows in their hair, without a care in the world. He had always felt off about matching Mabel, like something crawled around under his skin whenever the pair were referred to as a set of girls.

He only figured it out when he was almost ten, and it took a solid year of working things out with himself before he had the courage to tell his sister. He had been sitting on the swingset with her at Dracena Quarry Park, watching his parents chatter with each other on the bench nearby. It took forever to work up the courage to start talking. He was terrified out of his mind, but this was his _sister._ She had been there for him when nobody else was, even their parents. He knew that out of everybody, she was most likely to support him.

"Do you ever feel wrong about being a girl, Mabel?" His eyes were trained on the ground as he muttered, but he saw that she had turned her head to look at him in his peripheral vision. He couldn't make out the expression on her face.

"No, why? Do you?" Her voice was pure curiosity, and eager to hear his answer. This was the first moment of truth. The confession he's about to make will either make or break this identity he's formed for himself, kept privately. He drew a deep breath, nervous.

"I, uh, yeah," he managed, eventually. "I feel weird about being called a girl. It's like I'm being called something I'm not, I guess. I don't want to be [REDACTED] anymore. I want to be a boy." After he finished speaking, he held his breath. He didn't know what he was expecting from Mabel, but the silence wore on and on, grating on his nerves.

"If... If you don't want to be [REDACTED] anymore, then what do you want to be?" The question was quiet, a little lost and confused. But it wasn't anger or disgust, and so he clung to that fact like a lifeline.

"Dipper," he said with absolute certainty. "I'll think of a more permanent name later. Just call me Dipper, but only when it's just us. Mom and Dad can't know." Mabel nodded seriously but thought of a question.

"How are you going to change, Dipper? Won't Mom and Dad find out?"

Dipper deflated. "I don't know, Mabel," he said, staring off into the grass tinted orange by the evening sun, "I don't know."

-=oOo=-

Another year passes, and with it, the twins have saved up enough to buy Dipper a binder. He can't wear it much since people will notice, but when the twins' parents tell them about heading up to Gravity Falls, Oregon, they both see this as an opportunity. An entire summer, in a town full of strangers who don't know them, is the perfect chance for Dipper to start making changes to himself. By the end of the summer, perhaps, he'll be comfortable enough with himself to finally tell his parents.

He holds his breath as he and his sister board the bus bound for Gravity Falls. Dipper is wearing his normal vest, T-shirt, and shorts, and Mabel wore her girly sweater and skirt. Since that day in the playground, his sister really embraced her femininity and started wearing skirts, hairbands, and putting glitter everywhere. She even grew her hair out to contrast Dipper further, who kept his hair short. When he put his binder on, people who weren't familiar with them wouldn't have any trouble distinguishing Dipper as a boy, and Mabel as a girl- or so they hoped.

The twins smiled and waved as their parents disappeared from sight. As soon as they were far enough down the road, however, Dipper grabbed a bag and headed for the back of the bus, where a small bathroom waited. A few minutes later he came out, chest completely flat like it had always been that way. As far as he was concerned, it should have been. He felt so much better about everything as he went back to his seat and sat down, and the thousand-watt smile his sister gave him made everything worthwhile. 

The rest of the ride was horribly uneventful and boring, and he found himself leaning on his sister's shoulder tiredly. The bus jumped slightly every now and then due to a bump in the road, but it only served to lull him into sleep. 

When he woke up again, he had arrived in Gravity Falls.

He almost cried the first time Stan addressed him with male pronouns. Just as quickly though, that warm feeling fled him. Sometime, he would have to take his binder off. He didn't want Grunkle Stan to be caught unaware if he saw him without it. Which meant, eventually, Stan would be the first adult he would tell about this.

He dreaded it, but he would do it.

-=oOo=-

Stan found himself finishing up the day at the Mystery Shack, rearranging items that were out of place and calculating the daily financial reports. He's never been a genius in mathematics, and therefore this was his least favorite part of his job- but it was a necessary evil, and Stan knew all about necessary evils. 

He was counting the money from the register when someone cleared their throat behind him.

"Grunkle Stan?" It was Dipper, and his voice held a quavery note. Stan stilled- he couldn't multitask like he used to, and he had a feeling that whatever the boy had to say was going to be important. Of course, he had only really known him for a little over two weeks now, but he had a natural gift in reading people and an incredible sixth sense.

"What is it, kid?" He bundled the counted bills together with a spare rubber band while he waited for Dipper to speak. The boy remained worryingly silent, however, and he looked over his shoulder at him.

"Kid?" The younger of the two stood in the doorway of the gift shop. He posture was hunched in on himself- he hands were deep in his vest pockets, shoulders nearly touching his earlobes, and his head was hung at an angle that made the evening shadows collect near his eyes, which were stubbornly trained on the floor. Alarm bells rang in his head but he stayed wisely silent. He knew from experience that pushing someone to talk in a state like this was not advisable. He heard Dipper take a deep breath.

"Stan, if I tell you a secret, will," he said, voice dying in his throat. Stan turned around completely right as the boy looked up. His eyes were wider than usual and held that certain panicked hesitancy that reminded him of a cornered animal. "Will you promise not to tell anyone? Not even my parents?"

He knew, logically, that a secret from a twelve-year-old probably wasn't something to be concerned with, but that logic was barely registered. He's never seen his great-nephew so uncertain and upset over anything. Dipper gave off an aura of pure anxiety- one of his hands held the other arm tightly and he was sweating. From where he stood, he could just barely see him shaking. Stan strode over to Dipper, whose eyes were trained back on the wooden floor, before sinking to one knee and kneeling before the younger male, who refused to make eye contact for several long moments. When a warm, paternal hand was rested on his shoulder, he hesitantly looked up at his great-uncle. Stanley's face was awash with concern, and his warm, brown eyes glittered with promise when he spoke.

"Kid, I will _kill_ someone if I have to. You can tell me anything." Dipper laughed nervously, overwhelmed by the magnitude of what he was about to do. Was this really such a good idea? He could back out right now, but if he went much further, he would be in too deep. Mabel approved of him, sure, and that's all that matters, right? Should he just let things stay the way they are? He rubbed the back of his neck, too overwhelmed to do anything else but to fidgety to stay completely still.

"Uhm, I uh- I'm. Uhm," he stuttered, trying to say what he wanted, desperate to just >em>get it over with so he can hide under the bed and spend the next five days in Hat Town. He felt nauseous and shaky at the knees, and he was sure he was two seconds away from passing out, but he managed to push through it enough to say those words. His voice was surprisingly even when he spoke- it didn't betray his obvious discomfort.

"I'm... I'm trans. A trans boy," he said, unable to maintain eye contact with his relative. A silence fell over the room, heavy and imposing. He risked glancing up at the other male. Stan's face was shocked, his eyebrows raised and his mouth hung open slightly. His brown eyes were wide, but Dipper found that he could see no anger in them. His anxiety overrode his logic, however, and he barely paused for breath before he continued.

"Er, I'm not sure if you know what that means," he babbled, _stupid, stupid, stupid,_ "because you're old," _you're making it worse,_ "but-"

"Dipper." The tone wasn't menacing, but it was firm, and that was enough for his mind to take and run with. He started shaking harder and his eyes were the size of dinner plates.

He looked like a deer in the headlights. Stan felt a twinge of empathy for this kid, something that connected to him in such a raw, visceral way that he almost choked up. He knew from experience how terrifying it was to come out to someone, especially someone that might or might not take it well. However, the boy in front of him would get a better reaction than he himself did as a youth. With an uncharacteristic gentleness, he stood back up. He towered over the boy easily and flashed him a smile that he hoped was reassuring before turning slightly away from Dipper.

"I have something to show you," he said, fiddling with the buttons on his jacket. Once he got the jacket open, realization dawned on Dipper's face, which immediately scrunched up. Stan undressed quickly, lest he lose his nerves, and he already had the uppermost part of the shirt undone before Dipper spoke.

"Stan! I've already seen you shirtless- what," he stuttered as his grunkle turned toward him. Dipper held his hands up defensively. "What does that have to with... with-" 

His words trailed off as he saw Stan's bare chest. He didn't know how he never noticed it before, but there was a long, whitish scar under each breast. He had no idea how to process the sight- he thought that he was the only one in the family to feel the way he did. He never would've guessed in a million years that manly-man Stan was just like him.

"S-Stan! You," he shouted but was quickly silenced by a loud shushing sound from the other male. 

"Keep it cool, kid," he hissed, holding his jacket closed. He stayed there for a few seconds, letting Dipper and himself both calm down before he buttoned his shirt and jacket back up. At seeing the kid's face still in a state of shock, he sheepishly rubbed his hand down his face, trailing it off to the side and letting it rest near his cheek. 

"Point is," he said with an encouraging smile, "there's a lot weirder stuff in this town than, well. Us." Dipper's eyes looked shiny, but Stan couldn't tell yet if it was due to the evening light or unshed tears. "You won't have to worry about me saying a word." He paused for half a beat, thinking, but continued. 

"And I'm here for you, kid. I'm not the best with this stuff, but I guess I got a lot of experience. I'll help any way I can."

The shining from earlier was definitely because of tears because now they streamed down the boy's face unabashedly. His face was so open and soul-bearing that Stan almost couldn't take it. His mouth wobbled and he choked out a small sob before launching toward with a cry of his name. Stan stiffed, surprised and still unaccustomed to physical contact, stiffened for just a moment before melting into it and accepting. 

"Hey kid, come on," he said, halfway joking and halfway not knowing how to properly handle someone this emotional. But Dipper still hugged him with enthusiasm, and so he hugged back with the same ferocity. Smiles adorned both of their faces and the room dropped into silence again. This silence was not at all like its predecessor- this was warm, comforting, and accepting. This wrapped both of them in the tender feeling you could only get from proper family, and they both sat there and cherished the feeling. Stan cleared his throat quietly, and the gentle, compassionate smile he wore began to twist into something wry.

"Also I was there when you were born, so I kinda figured," he said and snorted when Dipper pulled away from him slightly.

"WHAT?" The look on his face was so indignant and shocked that Stan burst out into laughter, deep belly-rolls that sounded like thunder. Dipper looked a little less than amused, and when Stan wound down he explained.

"Relax, kid. I'm old but I'm not completely senile. Your mom pops out a set of twin girls, and the next time I see them one is a boy? It was easy to figure out. I just didn't want to say anything. I didn't mind, you know that now." 

Dipper's smile returned, bright enough to put Mabel's to shame. Knowing that there's someone close to him that he can talk to and share his experience was a balm to his agitation. He knew that he had his grunkle and his sister to support him, no matter what he may face for the rest of the summer. 

This, he finds himself thinking, is how it's supposed to be.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a written adaptation of lazy--stars/stans-dimensional's comic on Tumblr, which can be found here: https://lazy--stars.tumblr.com/post/178840156830/dipper-builds-the-courage-to-reveal-a-big-secret
> 
> Yes, I have gotten permission to write this.
> 
> -JAMS


End file.
